Domestic tip for Friday

ripta-collision

Above – nightmare yet to happen

When on a bicycle, approaching a hill where the road narrows to one lane each way, don’t race the Arriva bus to see if you can make the gap first because he is also trying to get a head of steam up and tends to swing past you onto the wrong side of the road, before swinging wildly back onto your side of the road ahead of you [so he hopes] to avoid the lady on the mobile in the blue Astra coming downhill the other way who panics, jams on her brakes and nearly causes a five car pile-up as you huff and puff to the top of the hill on your side and pray the bus driver doesn’t actually catch up with you on the other side.

Above all, when you tear down that downhill section later on, where the road curves left straight into the temporary roadworks red light, with hair [if you had any] streaming back in the wind, don’t slow to smile at the most gorgeous lady with pretty ankles you’ve ever seen in your life, just as the boyfriend emerges from the house, telling her to get in the car.

Do not compound the felony by reaching the red light with him hot on your tail, going into a slalom manoeuvre between the cones and shooting back up the next hill with him still stuck back at the red light.  Finally, when he catches up with you like a dragster from the traffic lights, do not return the appreciative smile she gives you as he tears past, just as you manage to jump your bicycle onto the footpath.

Fate only allows you so many chances.

9 comments for “Domestic tip for Friday

  1. jpt
    October 16, 2009 at 23:13

    Wow – that looks like MY bike!

  2. jpt
    October 16, 2009 at 23:17

    Sorry, wrong address on last post!

  3. October 16, 2009 at 23:25

    Might be best just not to go out at all. Nice cup of tea. Feet up. Act your age.

  4. October 17, 2009 at 00:20

    James, if you click your link from a comment you have left on a blog it takes you to the old site. And you have to click through the link then to this site. Just thought I would mention it.

  5. October 17, 2009 at 00:30

    Hmmm! I might need to tell my line manager that… Currently off work due to a cycling mishap.

  6. October 17, 2009 at 07:41

    Right, XXXL, let’s do this.

    Your last comment, in full, nothing deleted, nothing added, was:

    My knowledge is given on my terms.

    If you chose to alter your terms, so that they do not agree with my terms, you lose my input.

    You thus join the ranks of those you profess to so despise.

    But it is your site, and therefor, your right….., and you appear happy in those rights, – and ranks.

    Now, let’s answer that, point by point:

    My knowledge is given on my terms.

    And so is my willingness to receive it. If you are Sonus or one of the other Anons who used to leave valuable pieces which extended our knowledge, then you are more than welcome. In fact, I do miss those comments very much.

    If you chose to alter your terms, so that they do not agree with my terms, you lose my input.

    I have no desire to know who you are or to break any Anonymity. This is why I allowed Anon on the last site. Most people commenting here have some form of Anonymity and that is their right. I understand it fully.

    You thus join the ranks of those you profess to so despise.

    Not in the least. You see, the problem at the other site is that my stalker would make sudden appearances and of late he’s been quite active. He has a coven of women in America, Australia and Britain who follow his Jim Jones lead and he’s a nutter.

    He’s not the only one I block as there are spammers as well who have decided to descend en masse on this new site. That is my current reality. Now, XXXL, if you can’t see that this makes me wary at this particular moment, then thaqt doesn’t show a lot of sensitivity to my situation.

    It’s unfortunate that you dropped in precisely at that time but you do see, don’t you, that the same name from different addresses and then a different name from the same address doesn’t look like “your knowledge” being given.

    If you are one of the old Anons, then you would have actually given knowledge, as Sonus did in so many comments and other Anons did too. But so far, there has been no learned discourse from you at all, just jibes about being wrong.

    This is the main reason I’m not yet approving but haven’t yet blocked. One of the former Anons would have just come in with a long text, dotted with links. Your writing style is nothing like that and has no anger in it. It is directed AT me, which is not the issue – I’m a big boy but the issue is that I don’t think you’re one of the former Anons.

    I get the feeling that you may be the stalker because so far, there has been no evidence or sign of “the knowledge” you keep referring to.

    But it is your site, and therefor, your right….., and you appear happy in those rights, – and ranks.

    I don’t stand on that right but I do reserve the right to block my stalker, in his coat of many colours or one of his coven. When I see a piece of writing which is as the Anons used to do, then that’s another matter.

    As for joining ranks, that is precisely what the stalker would say.

  7. October 17, 2009 at 08:15

    Mutley, we’re having trouble with this just now. We can’t get an automatic redirect going and I’m going to appeal to anyone who knows how to do it.

    Now, your point about clicking a link and going back to the old NO – I’ll test it out and thanks for the warning. Incidentally, I’m moving you over today to the two main rolls.

  8. October 18, 2009 at 00:21

    Well of course people will go to your blogger blog from your commenting you are using your blogger profile…

    Talk to me about what you want to happen xx

  9. October 18, 2009 at 10:01

    Once I know, I shall and thanks.

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