The All and Sundry Cupid Stunts awards 2010

Opening post here from Angus Dei and thanks for that.  Many know Angus from his own fine blog.  And so to the awards:

Welcome to the bi-annual Cupid Stunts awards; this prestigious ceremony is held every two years because it takes time to nurture a Cupid Stunt and Cupid Stunts do not always show their full potential in the first twelve months.

These awards are also designed to piss off as many “purists” as possible, especially in the political and religious arenas, and as many other people as I can.

This year’s candidates were very difficult to rate because of the number of Cupid Stunts in existence at the moment.

Anyway, in reverse order:

10) The England football team for their piss poor showing in the world cup, the embarrassment they have caused to the country, and the fact that they had to employ a “foreigner” to manage them, and especially ‘potato head’ (Roo know who you are).

9) The “Athletes” on their way (or not) to Dirty Delhi, who are whingeing and whining on about ‘conditions’ and security, and the officials who are trying to stir up a storm on behalf of the poor, useless, spoilt competitors.

8) Pope what’s his name for coming to the UK with a belated apology for the hundreds of paedophile priests who have buggered and abused children in the last fifty years or so, and for ruining my TV schedule with his endless interminable rambling on.

7) The Dept of Works and Pensions for their lack of care, understanding, their inability to understand the English language, and their psychotic bent on forcing the sick, disabled and unemployed into work that does not exist, all in the name of “a better Society”.

6) The pointy heads at the top of the EU for draining Blighty of its money, sovereignty, ability to make our own laws and for trying to take over the world with their “Common Purpose”.

Getting exciting now isn’t it.

5) George ‘W’ Bush, just because he is George ‘W’ Bush, and for dragging us into the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan then leaving others to clean up his mess, and for the deaths of hundreds of our soldiers.

4) Tony Blair for following the above Numpty into Iraq and Afghanistan and for buggering off to earn millions while the country is flushed down the toilet, for his bottle suntan, his really annoying attitude and the fact that he thinks he can write a book that is “interesting”, and lastly for being a smug git.

3) Gordon Brown because he didn’t see the crash coming (must have been on his blind side), did sod all about it when it did happen, didn’t have a clue how to fix it, scared children when he “smiled”, has the personality of a turnip and is about as much use as a solar powered skate board.

Now it gets really intense.

2) The Dysfunctional Coalition Family for their lack of, interest in the people of this country, the old, the young, the sick, the disabled, the unemployed and the workers, their lack of foresight, policies and common sense, their intensity on “reducing” the deficit by hacking away at “All and Sundry” and cutting benefits to those who need it most, when the answer is there right in front of their faces-get us out of the EU, and claim back the money ‘we’ have given to the bankers.

And finally:

The top spot for being a Cupid Stunt is a joint award to Dave and Nick, that pair of privately educated, rich clones who seem to think that they have the answer to all our problems, are convinced that they are always right, and are determined to destroy the lives of the man/woman in the street with their half baked non-policies.

Dave who has about £20 million in the bank, keeps telling us that “we are all in this together”, and that “we will all suffer in the same way”, seems to think that putting thousands more on the dole, cutting public spending to the extent of making our ears bleed and hoping that the private sector will “take up the slack” while the banks refuse to lend money to small businesses is sadly living in a parallel universe where people can magic money up from their sphincters, to pay the rent/mortgage and other escalating bills while their pay/benefits is cut or frozen to bail out the knob heads who put us in this position in the first place.

While Nick, who has deserted his LibDem ethics for “fame and future fortune”, and is worth a few bob himself, is prancing around the world telling others that “we” will spend more on charity, malaria and other non British causes, while the electorate is slowly dying of exsanguination due to the lowering of living standards caused by his and Dave’s tunnel-visioned determination.

That’s it:

The next exciting date in the calendar will be the “All and Sundry” Numpty Awards, all suggestions are welcome.

Angus

9 comments for “The All and Sundry Cupid Stunts awards 2010

  1. September 25, 2010 at 18:49

    Brilliant and thank you. I might have changed the order on a couple of them but basically correct.

  2. September 25, 2010 at 19:35

    My pleasure James, back to the bunker for a day or two:)

  3. Patrick Harris
    September 25, 2010 at 20:46

    I know the feeling – played golf this morning.

  4. September 26, 2010 at 07:30

    Snag is Patrick my bunker is thirty feet below the ground and is made of comcrete, with no room to swing a cat (I have tried) let alone a driver.

  5. t
    September 26, 2010 at 14:20

    So having denounced everyone- what would you do? They are all corrupt, how can you prove that you are not?

  6. September 26, 2010 at 14:23

    T, you’re superb counterpoint – I’d be interested in Angus’s reply. 🙂

  7. September 26, 2010 at 17:02

    t

    What can I do?

    I am not a member of any religious or political tribe, I didn’t vote for the cupid stunts in parliament, as this is supposed to be a democracy, I leave it up to the man/woman in the street to enact justice, sad thing is that the m/w i.t.s don’t really give a shit as long as they are OK.

    Am I currupt?

    Good question, are any of us pure, or free from “sin”?
    it is human nature to take what we want and think about the consequences later, as is proved by the state of the world at the moment.

    I don’t think I am any more currupt than you are, so you tell me.

  8. james wilson
    September 27, 2010 at 07:27

    I don’t understand how you can go about carelessly addressing people as Cupid Stunts when your meaning often is plainly Pucking Fricks. I will not have my Dopey McDeath referred to as a Cupid Stunt, although that may be true of the present inhabitant of the White House.

  9. September 27, 2010 at 09:01

    james, Pucking Fricks is a completely different category of Cupid Stunts, after all it is possible to be both, and sadly many of the people in the post could be considered to be in either camp.

    George “dubbleya” Bush is I think one of those contenders.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.