1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are
3. Amnesia — I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and …
6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Me Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Full Personality Disorder— You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells …Better Now!, One more time…
10. Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House
11. Senile Dementia— Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
13. Social Anxiety Disorder — Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.
14. Attention Deficit Disorder — We Wish You……Hey Look!! It’s Snowing!!!
15. Depression: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely
16. Bipolar Disorder: O Come, All Ye Faithful — no, get the hell away from me.
17. Depressive: Silent Misery, Holy Misery, All is Flat, All is Lonely
18. Passive-Aggressive: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me and then Took it All Away, So I Pouted and Wouldn’t Talk to Her For a Week. I showed her!