Sound of one hand clapping

Hmmmm:

1. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

2. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

3. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

4. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

5. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

6. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

7. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

8. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

9. A backward poet writes inverse.

10. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

11. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

12. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

Nourishing Obscurity apologizes to all readers in advance for those.

4 comments for “Sound of one hand clapping

  1. January 17, 2012 at 08:44

    Two peanuts were walking down a road. One of them was assaulted…

  2. January 17, 2012 at 10:38

    Groan.

  3. January 17, 2012 at 11:37

    So I rang the Council and asked if I could have a skip outside my mouse. The bloke said, ‘It’s a free country.’

  4. andy5759
    January 18, 2012 at 20:00

    Now behave yourself CC; no person at the council would claim this is a free country.

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