Speed camera

Via a correspondent:

Two RCMP Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on Highway 97, just north of Kelowna. One of the officers was using a hand-held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the city. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the tree tops on Highway 97 revealed that the radar had in fact, locked on to an RCAF CF-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low-flying exercise in the area.

Back at RCMP Headquarters in Kelowna the RCMP Superintendent fired off a complaint to the Base Commander of the CF-18′s in Cold Lake Alberta for shutting (actually frying it) down the Highway Patrol’s Radar.

The reply came back in true Royal Canadian Air Force style:

“Thank you for your letter . . .

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer on the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down. Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment’s location.

Fortunately, the Air Force pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, and quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Highway 97. The bottom line is…your guys were f—–g lucky they didn’t get their doors blown off!

The pilot suggests your officers cover their mouths when swearing at him, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Staff Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left molar; it appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster. If you need any more details, please don’t hesitate to call.”

Per Ardua Ad Astra!

10 Responses to “Speed camera”

  1. A K Haart August 29, 2012 at 16:58 Permalink

    What wouldn’t I give to be able to write a letter like that.

  2. haiku August 29, 2012 at 16:58 Permalink

    Sorry to shoot down the story (which I wish were true):

    http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/radar.asp

  3. Moggsy August 30, 2012 at 05:08 Permalink

    Maybe just too good to be true?
    http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/radar.asp

    Oops, Haiku missed your link first time just showed as dots.

  4. ivan August 30, 2012 at 09:27 Permalink

    Snopes may be only partly correct. It is not impossible for the defensive radar on modern aircraft to lock on to hand held radar units and even arm the weapons systems. Also it is easy to burn out small units with high power ones.

    I also doubt that the military publish ALL of the capabilities of their equipment and the snopes article reads more like a cover-up.

  5. Moggsy August 30, 2012 at 10:20 Permalink

    Ivan, maybe so maybe not, but I would be more impressed with a link to the news source than a theory.

  6. ivan August 30, 2012 at 19:25 Permalink

    Moggsy, there are two things in that story that don’t ring true.

    First, I am willing to bet the police deliberately tracked their radar unit at the jet.

    Second, it is unlikely that the auto response of the jet was on full automatic because of where it was flying.

    Having worked with radar and laser guidance systems the rest is standard operation procedure and no I can’t give you a web page it’s classified.

  7. Moggsy August 31, 2012 at 02:32 Permalink

    I am thinking it is likely that if there is anything behind the story or not it has been going in more than one version for a while now got a life of its own and basically become an urban legend.

  8. Rossa August 31, 2012 at 07:48 Permalink

    It’s filed under Humour for a reason ;-)

    Very like the story of the naval fleet (take your pick) and the lighthouse, that’s been around for years.

  9. ivan August 31, 2012 at 11:28 Permalink

    I know that Rossa but there has to be a grain of truth in there somewhere, these stories do not appear out of a vacuum.

  10. Penseivat August 31, 2012 at 21:32 Permalink

    A friend of mine in Perth told me the following story which he claims is true:
    A mobile speed camera van was situated on a bridge over a dual carriageway, clocking speeding cars. While they were doing this, three young lads rode up on their bikes and asked what they were doing. Being of a public spirited nature, they showed the lads around the van, showed them the cameras and explained how they worked. The lads thanked them and rode off. A short while later, they clocked a car doing at least twice the allowed speed. Bugger me, a short while later they clocked the car going the other way, only even faster. Next day, the crew were hauled before their boss who demanded to know how they had clocked their own vehicle speeding – twice! Apparently, there were 4 boys, not three and while they were being shown around the van, the fourth was removing the vehicle registration plates which were subsequently fitted onto a car which was recorded speeding – twice!

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