Most of you didn’t know Alexys or her blog. How could you? Some of you who have been through my blogrolls have gone there in the past and one of the main people I know who was a regular was Ubermouth. I can only support the comment of a commenter over there:
I am in shock. I have been connected with Alexys via her blog and mine for about 5 years now. We never really got to know each other beyond that. However, her writing always struck a chord with me. As you must know that Alexys touched many lives around the world with her writing.
I left a similar comment and mentioned that this is when regret really starts to bite. Alexys was full of the joy of life and thankful for her life – I had no idea she was ill and as you know, some of my comments can be brusque when talking about political things. Yet she never took umbrage and visited here from time to time. I think she knew my motivation and appreciated the connection.
I didn’t visit enough. Don’t know why but I immediately think of Anne in Oxfordshire, Jams and others. I could plead pressure of time but the truth is I allowed that to happen and the net result is that I’ve been negligent.
Naturally I also think of Cherie and JD in the context of recent “discussions” and hope to goodness that nothing occurs to them whilst they are still in a state of “coolness” with me. There is a temptation to go against what one knows to be right in those situations and say things in the interests of compassion which are actually not right. It’s probably better not to do that.
Despite JD’s statement to the contrary, friendship is of vastly more importance to me and life’s too short. I’m sure nothing will be happening to either of them soon and JD in particular, I believe, is currently out on the tiles and tripping the light fantastic and anyway, after the current Islam posts, it might be me who is for the chop.
There is also a temptation to drop regular things, e.g. there is a post on death coming up from Rossa at midday and my first reaction was to look askance at that and think: “Hmmm, maybe it would be better tomorrow.” We’re always faced with such decisions when a tragedy strikes although in Alexys’s case, I get the idea that it was blessed relief in the end. I still haven’t forgotten Mutley and there is a group of people who keep us up to date on that.
So – to run the Rossa post or not? To run the 16:00 Islam post? Here I go back to my father’s and mother’s approach which was to press on and keep to the same things, which is probably what the person wanted us to do anyway. You might find that callous and my attitude unyielding but our family were always that way – pausing for a time and then pressing on. I know no other way.
Alexys. I’ll be spending the bulk of this day thinking about her and perhaps going back through her blog in an attempt to remain connected with her spirit. I have a feeling I shall see things in a different light when I go back this time. You know, people talk about those who’ve moved on as the most wonderful person and so on but the truth is – she was. You’ll see it from her writing.
Rossa says that once they’ve moved on, it’s all about the living and how they relate to it all. She’s a bit more like me in her approach and I find it refreshing and strong. I’m going to end with some quotes. Firstly from the chap who wrote her last post:
She loved God and she spread love across the world through her writing. God and writing were her true loves, it brought her so much joy. She’s probably writing Gods next speech right now. God decided to end her pain and in this I take some solace as I saw her pain. It is far better that he opened his arms and called her home and ended her suffering. In my grief and loneliness I know that the heavens have a new Angel.
Whether humanity will consciously follow the law of love, I do not know. But that need not disturb me. the law will work just as the law of gravitation works whether we accept it or not. [Gandhi]
Love travels a long journey to find us – through hell and high water – through icy blizzards and scorching deserts. It wants to be with us. It wants to become us.
So it keeps searching for it’s opening, but we block it. It tries again and we block it again. And when it finally finds an opening, what do we do?
We wrap it around our ego and try to contain it in our little human consciousness. Love is not a puzzle, yet it leaves many puzzled.
We try to rename it. We misrepresent it. We disrespect it. We desecrate it. We abuse it – yet through it all, love is unscathed.
When detached from the ego, love writes itself in our hearts in volumes. We would travel to the end of time just to be in it’s arms. It’s grip is tight but not forceful. It’s hand soft and gentle.
Vale Alexys. I believe there might be some sort of memoriam as there was for Mutley and shall keep you up to date on that as and when it occurs.