Saturday at work
Boss is trying to calculate the target and other maths, I’m sipping tea, watching her. Suddenly she flings down the calculator and says: “I hate this calculator.” “Oh?” says I. “W-e-e-l-l, it’s always trying to add up.” “Add up?” “Well look at that huge ‘add’ button – always making me press ‘add’.” “Ah,” was my intelligent rejoinder.
It’s at this moment that I finally understand just what it is I love about women.
Today in an email doing the rounds
A couple of weeks after embarrassing the Royal family with his Vegas pictures, Prince Harry has been deployed to Afghanistan. Nice one Philip, that’ll look a bit less suspicious than a car crash.
Lost in translation some years back
In Russian, spokoiniy means quiet, unhurried, calm, easy, not stressed, running evenly. GF and I are travelling to Moscow and she’s not enjoying the trip. “What’s wrong?” I ask. “This is not a calm train.”
Same GF. “They’re selling live pigs from the back of a van.” “Did you buy one? You like a bit of pork as a rule.” “Not live ones.” Didn’t have the heart.
Mate had a bit of trouble [age?] remembering various common words and it’s happened to me too a few times. I recalled another mate years ago who was trying to describe a spear to me but he just couldn’t remember the word “spear”. He ran various words over the lips and none of them would do. Finally he found some. “You know – that Lancelot thing.”