Things which have amused in the last few days

Saturday at work

Boss is trying to calculate the target and other maths, I’m sipping tea, watching her.  Suddenly she flings down the calculator and says: “I hate this calculator.”   “Oh?” says I.     “W-e-e-l-l, it’s always trying to add up.”   “Add up?”   “Well look at that huge ‘add’ button – always making me press ‘add’.”   “Ah,” was my intelligent rejoinder.

It’s at this moment that I finally understand just what it is I love about women.

Today in an email doing the rounds

A couple of weeks after embarrassing the Royal family with his Vegas pictures, Prince Harry has been deployed to Afghanistan. Nice one Philip, that’ll look a bit less suspicious than a car crash.

Lost in translation some years back

In Russian, spokoiniy means quiet, unhurried, calm, easy, not stressed, running evenly.  GF and I are travelling to Moscow and she’s not enjoying the trip.  “What’s wrong?” I ask.   “This is not a calm train.”

Another time

Same GF.   “They’re selling live pigs from the back of a van.”   “Did you buy one?  You like a bit of pork as a rule.”   “Not live ones.”   Didn’t have the heart.

Sunday

Mate had a bit of trouble [age?] remembering various common words and it’s happened to me too a few times.  I recalled another mate years ago who was trying to describe a spear to me but he just couldn’t remember the word “spear”.    He ran various words over the lips and none of them would do.  Finally he found some.  “You know – that Lancelot thing.”

One Response to “Things which have amused in the last few days”

  1. Mark in Mayenne September 12, 2012 at 11:23 Permalink

    Ahh women!

    The tendency to blame the claculator that has, presumably, buttons of the same size for add, subtract, multiply and divide, is part of the tendency for women to shirk responsibility for the things they do, blaming other people or things for their mistakes/lack of skill etc. An tendencey taht you deplore elsewhere (rightly so)

    Sorry about the speling mistokes, but this keyboard is orful

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