As this post is about myths, let’s clear up one myth [or rather misconception] before we begin. The reason your humble correspondent devote so many posts to wimmin is:
1. The other guys and gals are covering many of the other topics at the blogs but few are covering this one and someone has to;
2. I study women as others would study art or architecture or popular mechanics – wimmin are fascinating as a field of study, as a species and as an artform. That doesn’t mean the old male-female biology is lacking – that’s another issue altogether;
3. Countless feminists [the monstrous regiment of women] produce tomes on “Women’s Studies” and I thought it was time someone explored this neglected field of non-feminist views on women or “Women’s Studies from a Different Perpsective”;
4. Wimmin are far more complex, interesting and scrumptious to a man than a man [for 94% of the male population]. It’s a bit like studying chocolate, fine wine or good whiskies as a topic, whilst imbibing.
I really must disagree with Fran Lebowitz [Metropolitan Life, 1978] who wrote:
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it’s merely and excuse not to have to play football.
It’s certainly been misconstrued, this self-appointed task and all sorts of charges have been flung like ordure at what your humble blogger is attempting. Yet a moment’s thought would show that people who throw themselves into their fields of interest usually have an abiding love for those fields – foibles, defects and all notwithstanding.
And so to today’s topic – myths and misconceptions. Now this can be viewed two ways – firstly for the subject matter itself but my focus here is on:
The complete and utter, the frustrating disconnect between the way men and women perceive precisely the same things.
You might say any two people of either sex will see things differently. Lord T used to go apoplectic sending me material to be used a certain way and I’d incorporate it in a post with an entirely different slant. So that’s a given.
And yet, when all’s said and done, nowhere is the disconnect more starkly revealed than between men and women – truly it can be said that men are Mars [cold, forbidding and alien] and women are Venus [opaque, asphyxiating, alluring and hot as hell].
Theresa Curtis-Smith is another of that small band of avid Studiers of Wimmin who has noted certain things about them but being a woman, she gets it a little askew from a man’s point of view:
Myth: Women are never satisfied
Her truth: Women are always interested in making things better.
Man’s truth: Women are never satisfied.
Myth: Women are high maintenance
Her truth: Intimate relationships ARE high maintenance
Her truth: BS – this deliberately conflates high maintenance, meaning she’s up herself and demands megabucks plus 24/7 attention, with care and affection, which should be a two-way street.
Myth: Women want to control men
Her truth: Women want to contribute, improve and be included, not because they want to control you, but because they love you.
Man’s truth: Women are never satisfied and it becomes galling.
Myth: Women are jealous and possessive
Her truth: Women are protective of their intimate relationships
Man’s truth: Anyone of either gender is possessive or protective of that which he/she values. The trick is not to make it asphyxiating.
Myth: Women are too emotional
Her truth: Women are in touch with their feelings. Most women are not too emotional – they are emotional.
Man’s truth: Snap! We have agreement.
Myth: Women who appear to be strong and confident don’t need to be taken care of
Her truth: Just because women are strong and capable doesn’t mean they don’t want and need to be nurtured and taken care of.
Man’s truth: Snap again – that’s so but women need to be careful not to confuse morally strong with bitchy and pseudo-masculine. If they do, we cross the road when we see you coming.
Myth: Women want to rob men of their freedom
Her truth: Women want to create a committed, intimate relationship.
Man’s truth: Men are divided on this. One type wants uncommitted nooky and he’s enjoying this age of the skank. The other wants committed females but they’re rare – the modern woman is too often into herself and faithless.
Message from a woman
Everything that women would love men to do can be ruined if they know that they are not doing it out of love, affection, appreciation, care or admiration. Attitude is everything.
Message from a man
If women could sometimes put a sock in it, stop compiling lists of his faults or lists of what she wants him to support her in and focus instead on what they both need, there’d be far less conflict.
File under: Any Excuse