Trending – onesies

adult-onesies-55jpg-c2d4b027-900xYesterday whilst having lunch – a cup of tea and a sandwich ! – my wife laughed and and turned the page of a glossy flyer promoting Christmas gifts from the city’s premier department store.

What was funny I inquired, she turned the page back and passed the flyer over pointing to a child wearing a Batman play costume, only on closer inspection it wasn’t a child but a grown man in what was described as a Batman onesie !

Inevitably it was suggested I should get one, ideal on the cold winter evenings, I declined the offer as the thought of lolling about looking like a giant black pudding rather than Batman didn’t appeal, but the incident reminded me of an event some two or three weeks earlier.

Having dutifully driven the wife to the city on a shopping expedition we inevitably ended up in M&S as new pajamas were on the list.

Passing through the lingerie, my inner thoughts were interrupted by a muffled “that stuffs alright when your eighteen” onward past the baby doll nighties, no comment needed, we homed in on our destination – the comfy and cosy section where I retired a discreet distance so choices could be made.

It was during my hovering that the sound of increasing laughter came from the other side of the island unit and as it got louder we could not but look to see what was causing such mirth, and it was the sight of two women with a giant rabbit outfit wondering whether it would fit the intended recipient, one size fits all with these, but what if you are tall?  Te only way you could wear one would be to take on the appearance of Quasimodo or alternatively if short be walking around with your feet where your knees should be.

I then showed my ignorance and created more laughter when suggesting that it looked a bit warm to wear in bed, in bed you fool it’s a onesie to lounge about in.

The journey home consisted of the obvious to me question of do people really wear these things around the house, I mean adults ?  No different to those two footed slippers and snuggle blankets, I showed my ignorance in these matters again, snuggle blanket what are they I asked, the long explanation into the whys and hows of people staying came back at me and I was told there really is no difference between the two foot slippers and a onesie in principal.

I wasn’t having that and suggested if the doorbell rang, the slippers could be left behind but a onesie only left two options, leave it behind and answer the door naked or answer the door looking like whatever you were wearing, tiga, a crocodile, frog and what if you had a kangaroo version (yes they do make them) would you arrive at the door in a couple of bounds, now your being ridiculous says the wife and the subject was dropped.

But of course the mind was racing by then, I could be anyone I liked in a onesie of my choice, boyhood heroes came to mind, Capt Hook, Superman, Zorro, the list seemed endless.

Problem is I wouldn’t look like a superhero with my bulk, I would have to change direction -Humpty Dumpty, Oliver Hardy, W C Fields, Ant AND Dec.

Aaaaghhhhh, time for my cocoa.

10 Responses to “Trending – onesies”

  1. CherryPie November 15, 2013 at 18:53 Permalink

    They do seem to be all the rage at the moment, I can’t see the appeal myself. They remind me of over large baby grows!!

  2. CherryPie November 15, 2013 at 18:55 Permalink

    PS: You need to change the posted by name ;-)

  3. James Higham November 15, 2013 at 20:43 Permalink

    Where would I be without you, Cherie?

    Humblest apologies, Wiggia – third time I’ve done that.

    As for the topic, can’t bring myself to even think about it – yuk.

  4. macheath November 15, 2013 at 22:14 Permalink

    Re Ant AND Dec

    An exchange of comments on the subject over at my place produced this link from Bucko the Moose:

  5. wiggia November 16, 2013 at 07:23 Permalink

    Thanks for that Mac, I think it speaks for itself, there are several scenarios with that but none of them are printable. I have terrible visions of a scene behind closed doors in this country where thousands of families look as though they are auditioning for Barney.

  6. Rossa November 16, 2013 at 07:24 Permalink

    The onesie for twosies made the Daily Wail as the Twinsie!

  7. James Higham November 16, 2013 at 19:48 Permalink

    Macheath – ah yes.

    Wiggia – Mac?

    Rossa – spare me.

  8. Amfortas November 16, 2013 at 21:22 Permalink

    Infantile. They will be pushing stage-donkey suits next.

  9. Wiggia November 17, 2013 at 08:15 Permalink

    Amfortas, to late………………………..

  10. ubermouth November 17, 2013 at 10:13 Permalink

    OMG! I LOVE them!!! WE could get you a pirate one to go with your boat, James! It could even have a cockatoo sitting on it’s shoulder! :)[tm] maybe we could stitch in a little string running down the inside of your sleeve and every time you said, ” Aye, Aye Matey!” you could give it a little tug and make the bird’s beak go up and down so we would not know which one of you actually spoke !

    * It would look so much better against the backdrop of a real boat!

    Do you want to be Bluebeard or Pegleg?

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