I wanted to see what commenters would say to this one.
Synopsis: Man of 37 on Tinder [social media], known for its “hook-up” sexual encounters, some bird superlikes him, he suggests they meet, she wants a restaurant, he chooses a swish one. Some dispute over her turning up in leggings or whatever, orders the most expensive drinks and dishes.
Leaving aside the paying for the meal, what staggers me is anyone actually going on a blind date. I went on one in the 70s, helping out a mate whose other mate pulled out, it was to a dance, so that was me useless for a start, it’s never been my forte, that sort of meeting.
The only way I’ve ever got anywhere with a female is meeting her in some neutral setting where none of that is even on the agenda, let’ say you’ve been invited to a dinner and there’s her best friend – that sort of thing. Because both can do their filtering that way and if it’s positive, then there is no pressure when a low cost first time is suggested, e.g. a cafe, a pizza place.
For me, it’s a good test of whether you have a stuck up person going for the main chance or someone genuine and not full of herself. The other types of meetings follow from there … or not. Plus I’m one who gets down to deep things quickly on Day 1, so if she won’t or can’t, then we’re not suited.
Now how on earth can you get any of that from lying social media? Why lie anyway because when you meet up, the lie is found out. For what to do that?
As for the female turning around and going for broke on the expensive items, I’ve only ever seen it in Russia the once where we’d broken up and I was silly enough to rebound with her best friend [women are treacherous and men are cads]. First time was fine at my place but then she said something curious about liking a life such as we [her friend, my partner and I] had had. As she imagined it. Silly me again, thinking that that meant being with me.
She started by having her hair done and I picked up the tab, then came the restaurant and the most expensive dishes and that’s where I called time on a piece of premium stupidity on my part. I hope any ladies reading this do understand that once I finally get the notion she is the genuine item, there’s not been any stinting on my part – your own partner gets the lion’s share of your being. But that was way too early for any of that.
In fairness, I’ve seen the opposite – something began and she was at my place and appalled at the lack of living things. Next visit, she brought coffee cups, a mattress topper, quilt, all sorts and she didn’t actually want a restaurant life – found those people boring, didn’t feel comfortable, she chose various cafes we knew – nice meals there too, never demanded, which is the surefire way for me to start giving. She then went to America.
All the men I know are like that, in that if they get the idea the thing is genuine and a possibility, they start pulling out all stops, but only then, only once they’ve overcome their suspicion that she’s high maintenance. I don’t know any men who remain tight, miserly, after they know it’s a go – I’ve heard of such men though.
With that process going on, then what on earth is the purpose of a blind date?