Limericks which don’t rhyme

Last evening we took a look at the Bullwer-Lytton and fun was had by most, this evneing continues what we ran some days ago – limericks which don’t rhyme, they’re not meant to rhyme, they get engrossed in a subject and become prose with a passion.

I was thinking that that was quite a skill and entertaining in its own right.  Here were some others sent by Chuckles, taken from Futility Closet, a fine publication dedicated to the important things in life.

Ah, to hell with it, let’s repost that one already posted as well:

There was an old fellow called Hugger,
Who was captain and mate of a fishing smack;
When a yacht crossed his bows,
He said: “My word!
It’s an awfully good thing it wasn’t a liner.”

— Arnold Hyde

An American girl in Versailles
Said: “I feel so ashamed I could weep.
Ten days I’ve been here
And not gone to the Louvre.”
“Never mind,” said someone, “it’s possibly only the hard water.”

— Quoted in Anthony Burgess’ But Do Blondes Prefer Gentlemen?

There was a young lady of Ealing
Who walked up and down on the window;
And there, for a while,
To vary her technique,
She practiced strathspeying and hornpipes.

— Allen M. Laing

There was a young lady called Dawes,
Went out to a dance without gloves;
Her ma said: “Amelia!
Should anyone dance with you,
He’ll take you for one of them actresses.”

— Anonymous

Don’t you think they’re quite cute?  Anything which adds to the asymmetry of life is a good thing in my book, I can tell you.

Obvious question this evening, as it was last evening, is whether you yourselves can come up with some real beauties to appall us into that good night.

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9 comments for “Limericks which don’t rhyme

  1. The Blocked Dwarf
    September 13, 2018 at 18:08

    If i can find something that doesn’t scan with ‘ A vicar’s daughter of Eastbourne, delighted in trampling wheat, fortunately for us all, the tractor didn’t see her’

  2. Chuckles
    September 13, 2018 at 18:28

    Shamelessly stolen elsewhere –

    Rev. Bronte, a worthy old cleric,
    Whose children wrote books atmospheric,
    Tried verse for a time,
    But his endings lacked rhyme –
    An effect that is oddly frustrating.

    There was a young curate of Salisbury
    Whose manners were all halisbury-scalisbury.
    He walked about Hampshire
    Without any pampshire,
    Till his bishop compelled him to walisbury.

    An idea that irks even more,
    or maybe it works, I’m not sure,
    Is to make the last line
    Of the limerick rhyme
    With the previous lines.
    (Three and four)

    • September 13, 2018 at 18:39

      Excellent, although it started to be afflicted by the desire to rhyme all the time, and that is not fine [the idea is mine].

      • Chuckles
        September 13, 2018 at 19:03

        There was a young lady from Umkomaas
        who waded into the water up to her knees

  3. Distant Relative
    September 13, 2018 at 18:49

    An anonymous blogger called Hob
    Was concocting a meal to impress
    His chips were anaemic
    His green beans were khaki
    No worries, ’twas just for a photo.

    • September 13, 2018 at 19:02

      That one will get you either a kick in the teeth or the main prize.

  4. The Blocked Dwarf
    September 13, 2018 at 19:02

    A young blo-hard from Eton
    was oft seen to be cheat’n
    He whiffed and he whaffed
    then whaffed and whiffed
    until the judge granted his whiffe a decree nisi.

  5. September 14, 2018 at 02:38

    James’ neighbour came over to say,
    Although not in a neighbourly way,
    That he’d knock him around,
    If he didn’t stop the sound,
    Of his keyboard clacking at three in the morning.

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