The Haynes manual

‘Re-assembly is the reverse of removal….’

If you’re male and do not know what the Haynes manual is, shame on you! John Haynes, it seems, has loosened his last nut [this is a joint post from haiku, Chuckles and me:

John Haynes, creator of the Haynes Manual and at least partly responsible for the skinned knuckles of enthusiastic amateur car repairers around the world, has tightened his last bolt and headed off to the great workshop in the sky aged 80.

Haynes passed away on 8 February after a short illness.

Born on 25 March 1938, John Harold Haynes moved to Sri Lanka (then Ceylon) with his parents, where his father was the manager of a tea plantation.

After being introduced to motoring in the form of a Morris 8 saloon, the 12-year-old Haynes was sent to boarding school back in the UK with his brother David.

Read the rest of that at El Reg. There does exist a translated version of the Haynes manual:

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips (adjustable wrench) then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don’t you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place … clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Remove small retaining clip.
Translation: Take off 15 years of stubborn crud, it’s there somewhere.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! … Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Read the rest of that at Messy Beast.

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3 comments for “The Haynes manual

  1. microdave
    February 16, 2019 at 11:12

    “Re-assembly is the reverse of removal”

    Except when a fiddly little spring clip won’t go back the way it came out…

    • February 16, 2019 at 13:27

      Like toothpaste back in the tube.

    • Chuckles
      February 16, 2019 at 15:29

      “Jeez,what was that, nearly took my eye out!”

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