# Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
# White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.
# Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
# Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
# Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
# Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
# 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
# Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
# Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
# Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
# Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
# New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2040.
# IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
# Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.