Sometimes, we have an issue, in blogging of where to put the post [quiet at the back there – no rude comments].
Posts are backed up till 16:00 tomorrow and I’ve already run an extra at 19:30 so where to put this one? Somehow I don’t want to leave it until tomorrow afternoon, with material banked up in the inbox.
All right, this is about li’l ole me and just how vulnerable we really are. Best tell it while it’s still fresh in the mind. It took place about three hours ago.
We were talking yesterday about premonitions of danger and how we get them. You’ll recall a post about women and danger and what I still haven’t told anyone was that I got a distinct premonition on Thursday and Saturday but for some reason, not Friday night. That’s on top of the general comments in that post.
All right – to today.
I had the gear ready for today’s job outside, I was fine, all was well and then a weariness came over me – lazy sod I can see you saying but this was something not usual, it was preventing me thinking and doing and so I lay across the end of the bed to get the breath back – I must have fallen asleep.
Maybe an hour later, I woke up and was freezing – feet mainly but also the whole bod was shaking, only thought was climb into bed and see if it helped. This felt body core temp, not just reaction to the cold at any time.
I went to email but had this weird feeling of abandonment, as if I was on my own. Sounds stupid there’s always someone I could write to or phone but the brain wasn’t processing that. And then the heart started, it felt like being on that slab again during the stent.
OK, the fact that I’m writing all this and did the previous post live in real time means I’m better now but I had to stay under the bedding for an hour before feeling came back, I did fire off a couple of emails and got a response to one.
I got up to check on systems and guess what – front door did not have the draft excluders in place, a mini-system I use to regulate airflow and temp each day – which explained the frozen cadaver thing, but worse was that my main system – having the GTN spray and phone right beside me – wasn’t working. Then I went to wear my jacket from last night’s going out was hanging and there were both in the pockets.
In other words, if I’d had an attack, I had neither spray nor phone beside me. Excuse the pun but that was chilling. And how could I, in turn, help anyone else from where I am? As I said to the neighbour, it’s all well and fine having each other’s phone number and leaving the door on the latch but how could either tell the other if it was happening? I do have an oblique system, weird in fact, but there was no one at that end.
Unsettling? Not really because if I’d followed systems right the way through, it would have been as good as it ever was – it’s that I just fell asleep. At least the bod woke me up and said what the hell do you think you’re doing?
Fine now, just had a nice piece of cod, plenty of liquid but all the same – methinks each of us really must have a planned system of safety and escape – forget even one part of it and that’s lampshade time. The main reason I’m kicking myself is that usually I’m on top of things but just wasn’t this time.