Stringing someone along

… in order to get yer rocks off.

The man who thinks he can play the female this way is either/and:

1. Not playing her along and has serious intentions.
2. Indulging himself with nooky on the side.
3. Lying through his teeth about wife and family.

If it involves telling huge porkies in order to keep that bit of tail at hand, then all I can say is that whatever you sow, so shall ye eventually reap. Colour me unimpressed as a fellow man.

I deliberately chose the word ‘serious’ rather than ‘honourable’ as this whole thing is hardly about honour or nobility, even in my case and yes, there’s a bit of stick in this post.

The scumbag of antiquity was Lancelot, one today might be Boris with his bit of fluff in Carrie, or Putin with his bit of fluff in Alina Kabaeva.

If the intention was as in N1, then we get into the question of the poor fool reaping a bitter harvest but if N2 and N3, then karma can be swift.

If the young lady is well less than half his age, then we’re also talking an egotistical naivety because, I say, it simply cannot work longterm.

Which brings me to this particular case:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8034825/HSBC-graduate-trainee-26-fell-love-manager-56-bombarding-89-messages.html

Just what did he think was going to happen or didn’t he think anything would?  Maybe his tadger did all the thinking.

Someone was going to fall in love, sooner or later.  I knew a young lady who fell for a city mayor, she found his home number and rang the wife, saying, ‘I’m your husband’s lover, just thought we should get acquainted.’

So let’s list all the victims here:

1. The daughter with the exams, putting up with all that.
2. The wife who may or may not have suspected.
3. The intern herself who had bought his promises.
4. The firm.
78. Him.

Caveat before going any further – yes of course there is the opposite situation, that’s taken as read but I’m looking just at this case today.

My sympathy is clearly for Nos 1-4, including the intern.  Yes, she was out of order, yes she crossed a line but for the judge’s summing up not to aim fairly and squarely at him, the father, was misplaced.

The message?  Do not dally with another human being’s affections.  Be serious, even in a friendship.

Having said all that

I just saw this article about Dickens:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6728523/Charles-Dickens-devious-bid-send-wife-mental-asylum-exposed-160-year-old-letter.html

A reader summarises it:

Poor Catherine. So he was in love with her 14 year old sister who was the love of his life (whilst married to Catherine) for 11 years . She had 10 of his children and then he tried to get her declared insane, dumped her for his 18 year old mistress and took 9 of her 10 children away from her. I’ve gone off him. He was in any case a long winded author.

Pity that was not written by a man, to at least show that men are capable of understanding some of these horrors. I can’t help thinking that all right, maybe she had become bitter or dull, even set in her ways but I know for sure that if you court a lady genuinely, work on her, you can have all the spriteliness you could want at your own advancing age.

And then there is the vow, is there not? Plus whatever that spark had been in the first place … it’s still there, hidden beneath the mound of resentments. I have a great deal of trouble handling things such as this, they’re distressing.

Now, having said that, speaking from the male side, look at her early portrait and then at her late portrait – she’s let herself go. Truly, a woman can’t allow that to happen, it’s a cruel reality in life unless he has the character of a saint but even then … well, not my business. It’s a two way thing, innit.

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