Under house arrest

Just in case you missed the fun from Boris’s martial law cast:

Boris Johnson plunged the UK into coronavirus lockdown tonight – ordering the closure of all shops selling non-essential goods as well as playgrounds and churches. Gatherings of more than two people will be banned in the most dramatic curbs ever seen in Britain in peacetime, as the government goes all out to stop the spread of the killer disease. In a grim address to the nation from Downing Street, Mr Johnson said weddings, baptisms and other social events must be cancelled to stop the NHS collapsing under the strain – although funerals can go ahead. People must only go out for essential supplied, medical treatment, or to travel to work if unavoidable. Going out for exercise will be allowed once a day, but parks will be patrolled to make sure there is no abuse of the rules. Mr Johnson said his message to the public was simple: ‘You must stay at home.’ The premier was finally forced into the draconian move amid fury that many people are still flouting ‘social distancing’ guidance, with parks and Tube trains in London – regarded as the engine of the UK outbreak – still busy. ‘Though huge numbers are complying – and I thank you all – the time has now come for us all to do more,’ Mr Johnson said.

Weeks of pleasure for all.

14 comments for “Under house arrest

  1. ivan
    March 23, 2020 at 21:25

    I hope he included the return of all the illegals back to the countries they came from in that.

    If he didn’t what does he hope to gain?

  2. Wolfie
    March 23, 2020 at 21:47

    I hope that includes ending flights from China and Iran because today they were still running.

  3. Distant Relative
    March 23, 2020 at 21:49

    Welcome to the club. At least you can have a gathering of two, which is one more than we’re allowed.
    How long are you lot confined to quarters?

  4. Doonhamer
    March 23, 2020 at 22:45

    A gathering of two?
    That limits the sexual possibilities.
    But still allows for a little procreative recreation.

  5. Andy5759
    March 23, 2020 at 23:14

    I had just opened a bottle of beer before heading here. Wish that I’d kept it for a sunny day. Still, there are alternatives knocking around the house. Still! Now there’s an idea.

    This has been coming, it was only a matter of time. 335 deaths already, over 6000 confirmed cases. Thank goodness it’s not as bad as seasonal flu, who knows what they’d do to us to save us if were.

    Look on the bright side. I couldn’t be in better company than you lot.

  6. Mark
    March 23, 2020 at 23:40

    Does this include hysteria/communist central, aka the BBC?

    Sigh – Alas not!

    • Andy5759
      March 24, 2020 at 01:13

      They will still be able to interview each other as long as they stay well apart on camera. What they do when not on air is another thing, transmitting probably.

  7. Andy5759
    March 24, 2020 at 01:14

    They will still be able to interview each other as long as they stay well apart on camera. What they do when not on air is another thing, transmitting probably.

  8. Distant Relative
    March 24, 2020 at 07:51

    All a bit “closing the stable door” innit?

    Baby boom at Christmas then?

    Just putting this out there – “Cv” in one form of Gematria is 322 which is Skull & Bones.

    Singing “We shall overco-o-ome”

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