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cartoons and articles, some political

And another thing …

bottle_fark

Swimming in Germany:

dalek swimming

Groanworthy from Chuckles:

A man walks into a bar in the early afternoon and walks over to the landlord, who is stood behind the bar polishing a couple of glasses. The man straightens his tie and his round wire-framed glasses and then puts his briefcase down on the floor.

“Good afternoon, sir”, says the landlord, “What can I get you?”

“A large measure of your finest malt whisky please kind sir,” says the stranger.

The landlord pours him a double of the Bruichladdich ‘Flirtation’ and puts it down in front of him. Quick as a flash, the stranger has picked up the glass and emptied it down his throat before the landlord has had a chance to speak.

“Er… thats four-fifty mate”, says the landlord.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t owe you anything.” says the indignant customer.

“How d’you work that out then, Sherlock?” asks the landlord.

“You clearly asked what you could get for me.

Courses on offer for young women in 2015

Any young lass growing up needs good advice and as she isn’t getting any advice of integrity from home or school, it falls to your humble blogger to step into the breach.

In a nutshell, girls, these are the two courses we are offering you for 2015:

Feminazism 101

Julia M @AmbushPredatorwrites: “Just when you think modern #feminism can’t get more irrelevant or absurd… “

Vacuous slapper/chavism 102

Spiked on Charlie Hebdo

Charlie-Hebdo-Charia-en-LibyeIf it had been published in Britain, would this have happened?

Week 1: Magazine’s editors and staff get No Platformed by the National Union of Students on the grounds that their publication has been ‘identified by the NUS’s Democratic Procedures Committee as holding racist or fascist views’. They are forbidden from all campuses.

Week 2: Individual student unions ban the sale or display of Charlie Hebdoanywhere on their premises in order to protect students from feeling the need to ‘succumb to media pressure to fear and loathe Muslims’ and encourage students instead to ‘celebrate Muslim students for their academic achievements and countless other talents’. Unions across the country justify the ban as ‘an important symbolic step towards creating a culture of ethnic and religious parity on campus’.

Week 3: A Change.org petition is created, calling on supermarket chains to ‘Stop Selling Charlie Hebdo’. A different petition is launched, by a campaign group called Muslim Eyes, demanding that supermarkets hide Charlie Hebdoin black plastic bags so that Muslims and others will not feel offended by its front covers.…

Sunday [2]

From This is True:

29679e798de54c06a57e95c990576ec0

“People are mad because it’s filled with zombies,” claims Jasen Dixon of the Rossmoyne neighborhood of Sycamore Township, Ohio. “It’s not your regular nativity.”

That’s not the problem at all, says Township Administrator Greg Bickford. “The township is not anti-zombie or anti-nativity,” he insists. Rather, the problem is, Dixon’s front yard nativity scene is enclosed in a structure, and that’s against zoning regulations. “This is no different than having a garden shed in your front yard,” he said — and the “accessory structure” has to go.

Time to traumatize terrorist toddlers

10_cool_things_to_do_finger_paint

Haiku rushes us the good oil on just what little terrorists toddlers are.  Chuckles reminds us of this too.

Spying is just all the rage these days, you guys. The CIA is spying on Congress, we’re all spying oneach other, our eBook readers are spying on all our stuff, and the NSA is spying on the entire world. If you’ve been following Techdirt for any measure of time, you realize that any rebuttal of these policies is occasionally met with safety concerns, specifically when it comes to kids. “Think of the children!” 

No, seriously, think of them. What if they are the real threat to the glory of freedom and peace? Well, the UK is taking this question head on by asking caregivers in the country’s nurseries to inform the government if any of those little shits look like they’re going to become radicalized.

The directive is contained in a 39-page consultation document issued by the Home Office in a bid to bolster its Prevent anti-terrorism plan.

Court reporter

You’ve probably seen some of these before but they’re still fun to review:

How Do CourtReporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said …in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________…

Friday

Chuckles points to Levine satirical – way too big a pic to reproduce in full here so go to source.

levine satirical

These are the things that certain parts of America do so well.

From Rossa’s mother – a Ukrainian soldier enjoys killing Russians.  It’s common enough of the Russians in Chechnya too and of the Americans in Abu Ghraib and Guantanemo.  This is Them at the top urging: “Kill, kill, kill!!”

Rossa herself sends the Russian viewpoint on things and as I was saying to one of my Russian mates, you’d be surprised at the undercurrent over here completely at odds with the government line.  he said he was not surprised in the least – he keeps his eye on things global and I’ve told him that many times.  LOL.

You’ve had my take on Russia – a westerner in Russia.  How about a Russian’s take when he moves to America?…

September 7th, 2015

Victoria reigned from 20 June 1837 until 22 January 1901. I make that 63 years, 7 months and 2 days.

Elizabeth II was crowned on 6 February 1952. Therefore, to overtake Victoria, she would still need to be Queen on 7 September, 2015.

Your humble blogger is of the opinion that that’s what she’d hanging on for and may well abdicate sometime after that.

Charles was born on 14 November 1948, a positively ancient b***er. That would make him 66 years, 9 months and 24 days on that auspicious day of 7 September.

Given the propensity for longevity of the females of the family, albeit from different families, let’s say 86 years but the lesser age span of the men although Phillip is 93, it’s hard to put a finger on how long Charles will go for.

Giving him 86 years as well, that would make for another 20 years for Chas, making Wills [21 June 1982] 53 years old and two geriatric kings in a row might not be what the monarchy needs.…

Nanette Fabray

The other day we had Cyd Charisse. Last evening, I watched a bit more of What’s my Line and this lady was on it:

Thought she was a bit too “butter wouldn’t melt”, which was borne out when she virtually controlled the segment and then I saw this performance below, which she totally controlled after starting with the demure ingenue. Seems to have been her stock in trade.…