Category: Humour

cartoons and articles, some political

Collective nouns

From Ann Rennie, teacher:

“I am going to acquaint my students with the joys and poetry of the collective noun. So scared am I we are losing the language battle that I am going to institute some fun and games into the lower secondary classroom. Teenagers will be going home to alert, but not alarm, their parents that the collective noun for rattlesnakes is rhumba. They will find out that tidings is the collective noun for magpies.

We all know about a murder of crows (create own footy joke here) and a pride of lions and a kindle, clutter, glaring or clowder of cats. Don’t we?

In the years of my Victorian education, in the early ’70s, my good teachers gave us lists. Lists of synonyms and antonyms, spelling lists, lists of collective nouns, list of the weird words, lists for almost everything. They were times tables for words, a bit of muscular word building and our vocabularies were all the richer for it.More here ...

Rules of thumb

Naturally, we here endure arctic conditions most days – shovelling snow, harnessing the huskies etc. so here is a selection of damned good advice from one who knows:

way up north

3. If a mysterious and beautiful woman appears out of nowhere and is interested in you, run.

4. If you see a lone young child in the middle of nowhere and is uncommonly cheerful and/or giggling, run like you heard banjos.

5. Black cats, not so bad. Black dog that watches you without ever blinking? Don’t run. Slowly back away.

6. Attics? Tell one of your buddies that you hid the beer up there. If he comes back intact, then you can go on up.

7. Cellars? Tell your buddy that you forgot you moved the beer down to the cellar. That’s the point of buddies: they’re gullible.

8. Bullets may or may not work. Either way, shoot the evil entity a lot. Why take a chance?

More here ...