Above – nightmare yet to happen
When on a bicycle, approaching a hill where the road narrows to one lane each way, don’t race the Arriva bus to see if you can make the gap first because he is also trying to get a head of steam up and tends to swing past you onto the wrong side of the road, before swinging wildly back onto your side of the road ahead of you [so he hopes] to avoid the lady on the mobile in the blue Astra coming downhill the other way who panics, jams on her brakes and nearly causes a five car pile-up as you huff and puff to the top of the hill on your side and pray the bus driver doesn’t actually catch up with you on the other side.
Above all, when you tear down that downhill section later on, where the road curves left straight into the temporary roadworks red light, with hair [if you had any] streaming back in the wind, don’t slow to smile at the most gorgeous lady with pretty ankles you’ve ever seen in your life, just as the boyfriend emerges from the house, telling her to get in the car.
Do not compound the felony by reaching the red light with him hot on your tail, going into a slalom manoeuvre between the cones and shooting back up the next hill with him still stuck back at the red light. Finally, when he catches up with you like a dragster from the traffic lights, do not return the appreciative smile she gives you as he tears past, just as you manage to jump your bicycle onto the footpath.
Fate only allows you so many chances.